Wednesday, May 4, 2011

My First Mother's Day Card

Bryson brought this home to me sweet is this? I dont think you can tell, but its laminated, which is nice since it will keep for a long long time! that little scribble on the side is EYE HEART U..its what bryan's mom would write on napkins and put in his lunchbox and now bryan and i do it for bryson and he asks me every day he has school if i did it and every time i say...i dont'll have to wait and see...and he will smile and say Mom!! i think you did it!

i especially love this too because recently i heard a Dr. Laura show where this man called in and said that he tries hard, but does not seem to be able to hold down a job - he loses interest and gets fired, or laid off and he keeps failing. Dr. Laura started probing a little into his childhood and he revealed that his mother was very demanding and she asked him "Tell me one sentence that you would hear your mother tell you over and over from your childhood. The thing she told you the most." I can't recall what his answer was...sorry...if you heard it and remember let me know...i think it was along the lines of "Why can't you do better"...ugh...dont know...but it struck me so hard.

I feel like I am really hard with Bryson...all day long. He is very "spirited" and has a hard time standing still or even not talking and so instruction is difficult with him. i have tried to have a little more grace with him. i tell him something twice (his daddy only allows telling him once) and tell him on the second time "this is my second time asking you" 90% of the time that works. its like the first time he doesnt hear me...which is kinda like his father now that i think about it! anyway...i have always felt since he was born this battle of wills -mine vs. his...probably because we are so similar. in fact, definitely because we are so similar. i fear breaking his spirit. i fear that when he grows up he will tell Dr. Laura (cause i tend to think she will still be very much alive) that his mother was so demanding. so i especially love this little drawing. i will carry it around and pull it out and show him, "see! i took you to the park and gave you hugs and kisses AND totally loved me!"
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1 comment:

Whitney Hannah Hill said...

Love this post - feel you big time on this. Elliot is much the same. And really love your writing - wish you did more - that's not to put pressure on you - just that I like to read your blog. ;)