Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Moms picking up other moms

so the other day i was out at a local yogurt shop and this mom came in with her sit n' stand stroller with her approx 4 year old and new baby. we struck up a conversation and then she realized i had three kids..."three BOYS! (gasp)" somewhere in there...she then just threw up her arms...."oh my have 3 kids and you look cute? how do you do it?" i laughed and told her i dont always usually look cute but thank you and started to leave. she chased me out the door and handed me her card and asked if we could go on a playdate sometime.

i am embarrassed to admit that i lost her card...actually i believe it was used by a certain 5 year old of mine to become a work of art or who knows what...i totally would have called her...anyway - i thought the whole thing was so funny...i came home and told my husband..."i think i got picked up today by another mom"

this happens at the park too with moms, i have noticed...little conversations..."do i know you from somewhere?" things like that...its funny...i have been so out of practice with the whole single world and catching moms are doing it.

its a tough thing...this mom/friend business. i had a conversation recently with a girlfriend about past friends who we can only be friends now without our kids...that hanging out with our kids and them is just too stressful/annoying/boring or they flake all the time at the faintest hint of a cough or they flake all the time because its just much too i think at some point most moms need to find new mom/kid friends....and its really only at this toddler stage - once they get into schools/church, etc - you start to become friends with their friends parents...but now its more about who you want to hang out with.

i am also finding it extremely difficult to hang with other moms when you have 3 kids...the places i can go are somewhat limited...the times i can go are also i find myself at this stage scheduling time with friends in the evenings...sans kids...which has been lovely. i realized now that i am doing it, how much i need it. i told my husband when we had our third boy that girl nights would most likely be needed on a weekly basis...and its already holding to be true. because, lets be real...even when i do manage to schedule a playdate with a girlfriend, we manage to get about 3 sentences a between the "Bodie come back here!" or "Don't touch that!" or "Please use your words!" or diaper changes or lunch time or time outs or or or or......

its such a balance...this mothering...this balance between maintaining a "self" in whatever way that means (for me most days it means brushing my hair) and giving to your family...picking up other moms is just a part of it i guess!


Paige said...

I totally have mommy cards... ordered in the middle of the night when I was totally depressed. But they work! I have made a bunch of new friends recently (Thank God) and it's awesome to have them on hand.

I am super, duper awkward about it though. If definitely would have chased you of the store.

linsey said...

it is you because you are a SEXY MOTHER!!!

Anonymous said...

Love to meet new moms and have new playdates... But, its not always easy, can be kinda uncomfortable... Does feel like you are picking up on someone... Lol