Friday, November 21, 2008

random thoughts

i have a quiet reflective night tonight and thought i would jot down some of my random pregnant brain thoughts...with bryson recently turning 3 i find myself shocked every day by how much a little man he is turning into to. i know - you hear parents say it all the time and how cliche - and how true and how overstated...but seriously...i can't get over it. i love the way that he is making sense of things and although we have today - dear God...where i wish he would stop talking for just 2 minutes, at the same time his verbal sense is inspiring. for instance...two of my favorite words that he has made up are: 1) clawbster = lobster....because really - they are clawbsters...makes more sense doesn't it? and 2) jumpoline=trampoline...because really - we don't tramp on them...

also - whenever we question him about anything..."what did you do with the little piece that fits on the tripod that mommy just bought daddy?" his reply = "anything"....or..."what were you just doing to the cat...why is the cat running away like that?" his reply = "anything". its so perfectly fitting...we know he means to say nothing...but that would really be a lie wouldn't it? anything is a much more appropriate response for a 3 year old who is really up to anything and everything.

he is starting to ask why questions about his world and starting to make sense of his environment and starting to form social relationships and social groups and become geographically aware that we live somewhere different than other people. the awareness came into effect with our san jose trip last weekend. when we had gone before (i believe it was in September) we left long beach around 8pm and he slept - we told him that meema and papa live far far away. he woke up when we got there - recognized their house and said, "see i told you - it wasn't far far away!" this last weekend when we went we left around 6pm and he was awake until 9 and then woke up again at 11:30 because we hit construction on the pacheco pass, at which point he started singing, "I'm never tired...I'm not going to sleep" - he remembered that the last time we got to meema and papa's house meema woke up and played foosball with him at 3:00 in the morning for 30 of course he wanted to stay up for that. anyway - he got a better sense of how far the trek was this last time and constantly asks me what the place is called where meema and papa live...

i love this age where their imaginations are bigger than the tiny world we have constructed for ourselves and where their excitement and wonderment can bring out inner children in all of us and where energy seems to be bottomless and sometimes (not nearly enough though) contagious. i hope as a parent i can help this phase to last a good long time and to make sure i do everything i can to keep the world exciting and fresh and new. i think their innocence is the best gift they can give to the world and i wouldnt want anyone or anything to taint that.

don't get me wrong...this is not an easy age. these last two days when i have said his prayers i have asked God to help me know how to parent this child...his will is relentless, his energy neverending (we put him to bed at 8:00 and he didn't fall asleep until just about 10:00 - talking to himself for 2 hours!) and his verbal knowledge that i love so much was constantly spouting...everywhere...loudly...but even through all the tantrums and whining and boundary testing there pop up these precious sweet moments that melt you and make you want to do it all over again tomorrow...just after some sleep...and maybe coffee in the morning would help too.

my time with him as my only child is coming to an end and i have mixed emotions. i look so forward to him having a sibling...especially a brother he can do whatever it is boys do with each other...probably fight...a lot...but i know that it will be hard to not have the alone time i have with him now like i do - to lay down with him when he takes his naps (which are becoming less and less frequent sadly) - to do a craft in the afternoon together...all the precious mommy and bryson times are now going to include another being. i am just about 36 weeks and the realization that this baby could be born anytime now is starting to hit and i am increasingly excited and nervous all at the same time.

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