Google Alerts

Have you heard of Google Alerts? you can sign up a phrase that you want to see if there is any news surrounding it. i heard about it and signed up to see if Zoodies ever gets press. Well...i never have seen any content on my Zoodies, but i do know now when any member of any zoo DIES! so sad...but at the same time a little funny...but this little gem i had to share...because this so "popular" and "famous" komodo dragon died...but why couldnt they give the poor guy a name?

Popular Resident Of Pittsburgh Zoo Dies ThePittsburghChannel.com A famous resident of the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium has died. Handlers for the Komodo Dragon named "no name" noticed he was sick and had stopped eating.

winter garden harvests

peas....took me like an hour to shell them, but it was worth it! they were sooo good! i just threw them in boiling water for 3 minutes and then into an ice bath - no butter, no salt and pepper, we just ate them up like that - so so good!  

some carrots...and i was reminded (again) at how amazing freshly picked carrots are. seriously. they taste so different than what you buy in the store. not sure how to describe the difference, but to say they are better and "meatier" if that makes sense. we always fight over the carrots...they never make it in to any recipe...

arugula - sorry for the blurry pic...our lens was quite nasty...but that is a zippie full of the most amazing arugula - been making all kinds of arugula/goat cheese salads, pizzas, bryan cooks up the arugula with our eggs in the morning - we are loving our little bounty of it!

the thing about hormones...

i have read a couple different posts over the past two days about weaning and depression and found it fascinating because i think i went through very similar things myself (the posts are here and here if you are interested). in fact i think that i can pinpoint a lot of the times i have struggled with depression and anxiety (all of which have happened POST kids...i never struggled with it before) with times of hormonal changes. and the thing is...i am 33 years old...i feel like i should know better by now. i feel like its the first thing i should ask myself when i am having those feelings of being over-whelmed and sad.

i keep thinking about what Joanna Goddard had said about reading other blogs and feeling like everyone had these perfect lives and balanced everything so well. it got me thinking about my own authenticity and hopeful that i never portray that to anyone...in fact i hope its the opposite...i feel like the best things i write are things that come from struggle...not linking to pretty things around the interwebs - although that has a place...and its fun...and i like to write about fun things too...

i think i have been experiencing something similar...i believe it must be hormonal, but its not a depression...its more like anxiety in general. not specific attacks, but its been super hard lately for me to enjoy my kids and i feel like i have been the most depressing mean crochety old mom lately. part of it is that bobby is at one of the most challenging ages (for me...i feel like every mom has an age that they find hard - for some its babies for me its one and a half) and bodie is well into his threes...which with both of my older boys 3 has been more challenging than 2...i feel like they are at this age of "almost understanding" and right on the cusp of "reasoning"...but not quite there...

but anyway - challenging ages aside - nothing has seemed to help - a night off...or sleep...or whatever else i tried...but lately i started working out again and that is the only thing that has begun to help. its such a mood regulator...i had forgotten...running gives me those good endorphin inducing feelings and its so much more productive than napping. napping will just make me crankier sometimes because inevitably a child wakes me up. and even though i am 33 years old i still can't help but be cranky at you if you wake me up. even if you are my child. true story...i broke up with a guy for waking me up...

so working out is helping and also...planning a trip next year for Greece! my husband and i have talked about going to Greece since we met...i dont know why it has become this big deal...but it is, in fact, a BIG DEAL.we have saved for it so many times and then used the money for something else...and keep putting the trip off because of whatever life circumstances...but that isn't going to happen this time! so we started a little savings account that we are squirreling away for Greece and we are making it happen next year. still not sure what we are going to do with the kids, but a good friend told me to just plan it and things will fall in line...and so...here we go...and it has helped me...

please allow me a moment to frame this. i have been having these claustrophobic moments as a mom...every morning its the same...6:00 am...i feel like its some sick joke being played on me...i never get to sleep in EVER anymore...even if i do get the night away (like 1x a year) i wake up at 6 because my body is so trained...and anyway - i have just been having these over-whelming feelings that its never going to change and every day is the same and its hard and its never going to get easier and i am always going to be responsible for these lives (and can i please note that it is extremely exhausting just trying to keep these 3 boys from killing/maiming themselves) and i just sometimes get sucked into that way of thinking and my whole being kinda shuts down from it all. but planning this trip has just completely changed my outlook...i have this amazing thing to plan/save/look forward to. i get to finally go somewhere with my husband for more than 1 night...i get to have an adventure...i can plan lots of adventures...this is just a phase of my life - its not THE END. and then i look up on my wall and see my print that reads "This too shall pass" and i smile. yes. perspective. hello.

i just get so sick of people telling me how precious this time is in my kids life and it goes by so fast...sometimes i wanna scream "GOOD! they are driving me insane...LITERALLY!...insane"...but i dont because i know...its true...but its not all giggles and cuddles and cuteness...i appreciate it when other (older, wiser) moms tell me how they remember this time and its so so challenging and then it gets easier...and then harder again when they are teens...i like that...i like easier...even if its only for a year...

i feel like i am snapping out of it though...finally...it has been a couple months now...but i wanted to share about what helped me to come out of it all...because we aren't alone...even if we think we are.

on the rise...

so my bread making experiment of 2012 is actually going pretty well so far. i have been able to make it at least once a week...but a large part of that is thanks to my little sister for leaving her kitchen-aid mixer at my house and being too lazy to bring it home...ha! success! 

i will say though, that most of the breads i have been making i have made both in the mixer and without so that i could know if it affects the taste, textures, etc. i have found that its the same, but much more labor intensive without the mixer. i get ADD after kneading bread past 5 minutes...10 minutes is a looong time for me! 

anyway - i have been experimenting with my mom's basic bread recipe - been using half wheat flour - which has made the taste better, but definitely it gets harder faster...i only make it when i know the whole thing will be consumed in a day/evening...and that is usually not a problem in this house. 

mostly there have been successes...but i have also had some epic fails...a few things i have learned (so far) in my journey:

1. it is never okay to ask your husband to remember to take the bread out of the oven after you have been making it for the past 2 hours...even though you made him set an alarm on his phone and the kitchen timer...3 HOURS LATER...it was still in the oven...completely inedible.

2. i have had a lot of trouble with the first rise - my kitchen is COLD. i heard a tip to turn your oven on to 200 degrees and leave the bread to rise on the back burner on top of your oven (see pic) - BEST RISE EVER!!! i have alternately tried the microwave with the door closed and the oven turned on then turned off - neither of which worked as well in my coooold kitchen.

3. pizza dough can be left in the fridge after the first rise for up to 3 days for most breads...which works well - i need to remember how easy it is to make pizza dough (and yummy) but also need to PLAN for it! (P.S. Best Pizza Dough so far - Ina Garten! - thanks Jena!)

4. yeast is touchy...i have killed it with scalding butter...i need to remember to leave butter out to room temperature on bread-making days...

5. bread making is not hard once you learn the basics...the only way to learn the basics is to DO IT! listen...if I can do it...so can you! So go make my mom's bread today!

Winter Garden

our winter crop

rainbow chard, arugula, beans in the back

snap peas

arugula

see the carrot?

our stoooopid lemons...huge and void of taste

looking toward spring

this is our first winter garden...but certainly not our last! and i love that i am posting pictures of it...because that is about as far as i can go in taking any type of credit for it. bryan completely over-hauled one of our boxes and put in new soil and went to town back in december. everything was very slow growing until a couple weeks ago when we had unseasonably (who am i kidding...its so-cal?) warm weather and the garden just woke up! it was actually pretty amazing to watch...

we have been really loving arugula lately - especially since finding out that arugula'soul mate is goat cheese...those two can really conquer any dish - we have made pizza, salad, sandwiches, egg scrambles...you name it - with the pair and it always seems to come out right!

also - our rainbow chard is so beautiful. my boys will snack on it raw...but they wont with spinach...so i am guessing its cause of all the perty colors that makes it kid-appealing...but even bobby goes over and tears off a leaf and goes to town...i follow his lead because there is something so delicious in something so beautiful and fresh! same with the peas...i like them best raw...i have to open them up for bobby and bodie, but at least bryson is also eating them raw.

we have also been enjoying the lemons from our neighbor's tree that have been making its way onto on yard...which is so nice...we have two lemon trees in our backyard, but one is dumb...makes these big tasteless dumb things. we still use them - for the peel/rind and for juicing....and the other tree gives us like 5 a year. our neighbor's tree though has been great...whenever i need one i just go outside and pick away!

we also have some strawberries growing...and artichokes...both of which will pop with spring. and we have our starter garden growing in our dining room (last pic) that will get a home in the next few weeks as well.

i have some big plans for spring...our yard makes it difficult to plan properly because only a small portion of our backyard sees the sun for enough time to support veggies...so we need to make the most with what we got. i do want to get finally back going on composting...i want to grow out my herb garden now that i am cooking with herbs more...and i want to grow some veggies we dont normally eat...any suggestions on adventurous veggies?

I Love It! Tooth Edition

my 6 year old still has all his teeth...but at his last dentist appointment the Dr. showed me a little big guy tooth trying to come up...ahhhh...something so sweet and sad about losing your first tooth...shedding the child in a physical way...or something...i tend to over-dramatize things a bit...but in the spirit of losing teeth i thought i would share some of my favorite tooth fairy/tooth ideas!

1. This Tooth Fairy Door (Image by Sharnel Dollar for My Life My Loves)

2. Monster Tooth Pillow (photo and link - The Long Thread) 

3. Using Gold Dollars as the Tooth Present!

4. Of Course I Make my Kids watch my Uncle do Timmy the Tooth!

5. DIY Kids Toothpaste! (photo and link via crooked moon mama)

6. A mama told me she leaves "Fairy Footprints" by mixing glitter and baby powder and using her finger makes a line to the bed and all over the money - cute idea!

7. Cute Book!

8. A special thank you from the Tooth Fairy for when they lose their first tooth! 

(photo and link to etsy store luxely)

9. Did you know the tooth fairy has a website?

10. Wondering what to do with your kids baby teeth? Why not turn them into a necklace?  (link and photo via etsy - rockmyworldinc)

ummm....not quite sure with #10...my mom kept ours in a band-aid container (back when they were tin) and i remember finding them once and being disgusted...but what are you supposed to do with them??

Books! Whatcha Reading?

since getting my nook...i have been able to read more than i ever had before - partly due to the convenience of it all - buying a book from my couch! - carrying a 600 page book in my purse! - reading one-handed! and partly because my kids all sleep through the night, so i am able to lull myself to sleep reading. i find that if i watch TV or a movie before bed, i need to read to relax my mind...it is a natural sleep aid for me! the problem is that i can't quit a good book, so sometimes it ends up preventing sleep...

anyway - here is my book list from last year in order of how i read them:

1. Lonely Werewolf Girl by Martin Miller (i had started it before - so i read the last half on my nook)
2. The Maze Runner by James Dashner (awesome trilogy - young adult dystopian - highly recommend)
3. Freeing Your Child from Anxiety by Tamar Chansky (got this to learn more about Tics - very insightful)
4. The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield (haunting and beatifully written fiction)
5. The Sherlockian by Graham Moore (highly recommend - part historical fiction - part murder mysetery - very fun!)
6. John Adams by David McCullough (did NOT think i would have loved this book like i did - biography about John Adams but written like a story)
7. The Scorch Trials by James Dashner (part 2 of the maze runner)
8. Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood (another young adult dystopian - awesome!)
9. Bossypants by Tina Fey (hilarious! good short read)
10. The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo by Stieg Larsson (i really liked the first one...should have stopped there)
11. The Girl who Played With Fire by Stieg Larsson (it was alright...)
12. The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson (i didnt finish - i was so over it - too political!)
13. Dark Dude by Oscar Hijuelos (young adult fiction - interesting read...not sure if i would recommend)
14. Once Upon a River by Bonnie Jo Campbell (young adult...although not sure why its young adult - such a sad life - about an orphaned girl who has to fend for herself on the river)
15. The Death Cure by James Dashner (part 3 of the maze runner)
16. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (look at me - how mature i am - i got so into this book!)


currently reading
1. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte - just finished! loved it!
2. Sleepwalk with Me: And other Painfully True Stories by Mike Birbiglia - just finished yesterday! LOVED! a bunch of funny stories from someone born the same year as me, so especially funny...i am a big Birbiglia fan - based off his stories from This American Life more than his stand-up, but i could hear his voice the entire time i read, which i think is a good indication of a good story-teller!
3. Sense and Sensibility - by Jane Austen - currently reading
4. Hunger Games - by Suzanne Collins - already read them, but i am currently reading them with my husband to prepare for the MOVIE!!!

i tend to read about 3 books at a time - i like different options depending on my mood...just like movies - i can't watch a comedy every night...sometimes i am in the mood for something depressing...so i am like that with my books...so right now i am reading a classic and a fun fiction - i probably need a biography or something along those lines - any suggestions?

let me know if you have any questions about any of the books i read...and are there any other young adult fans out there? let me know your faves!

The Great Dough Experiment of Twenty-Twelve

this is probably the oddest of my kicks so far...especially considering that i still hope to lose 10 more pounds...this is probably not the wisest idea i ever had...but i decided during the holidays that i want to make a conscious effort to learn the art of bread making this year. 

Bodie just making pasta naked...totally normal...

i started with my mom's recipe and have made it about 3 times so far. i wanted to try a bunch of different recipes and figure out the different methods and ingredients and what difference it all makes, so then i moved on to Jamie Oliver's basic bread recipe...(i like my mom's better). i also made PW cinnamon rolls, and the Best Recipe Cook Book's pizza dough...holy schmoly...the best pizza dough ever! can i just gush about this pizza dough for a minute? so perfectly chewey and soft and fluffy and...oh dear...i might be drooling right now just thinking about it...so i guess i am saying if you were thinking about trying it out - do it! one recipe made plenty for my family - we had a bunch leftover, which happily went into lunches the next day. 

Fettucini drying

If you have any great bread recipes you would like to share -bring it! i am trying to make some sort of dough at least once a week..i mean once a month...i should say once a month, that way if i do more then...winning!

also - for Christmas my husband gave me a pasta maker and the pasta making has commenced! with great success i may add! it is quite labor intensive, but what a difference fresh pasta is! absolutely all worth it! 

i am not that far into my little experiment, but already i am starting to realize some very important things about cooking and family and preserving memories. i learned somewhere along the way that the olfactory nerve is the shortest nerve to the brain, hence the sense of smell triggers memories strongest. when i worked at an Alzheimer facility after High School part of my job was to bake bread in the bread machine twice a day - the purpose being aromatherapy. Hoping that just by smelling the bread baking would trigger memories (hopefully fond ones) for the residents. 

Handmade Tortellini - isn't it beautiful?

I thought about my own home growing up and smelling that smell when my mom would bake bread...and how many countless times i saw her kneading the bread and rolling it out...and what fond memories they are...so in a sense i think i am trying to create that home for my boys as well. a home full of yummy smells...so that when they are all grown up and out of the house, i will be with them with the simple whiff of baking bread. its a comforting thought...but also makes me feel a little manipulative...its all part of my evil sensory plan...mwa hahahaha!

but really...this is how we pass down our cultural ideas and values the easiest way - through food. with my husband's family being mixed and my family having their ways, food is one easy tangible way to share with our kids their heritage and values even. we had his Italian mom help us fill raviolis on our dining room table...i know it was a special time for Bryan and i love that we have pics like the first and last ones to show our kids they participated in this process. its showing them the value of doing it yourself, the value of more than one person in the kitchen, the value of taking time to do it. plus its just fun to play with your food! can you see the joy on bodie's face? 

its a journey anyway...and i think to get really good at anything you got to do it A LOT...and fail A LOT...and then try something else...and then go back to square one...anyway - you get it - its a process and i am excited about this one...and i know my boys are too - how awesome is fresh baked bread with a healthy slab of butter on it? pretty awesome...now off to find a bread diet weight loss plan ;)

Christmas Re-Cap - Handmade Goodies

i was absolutely horrible at picture taking this Christmas. in fact...not a single picture was taken on Christmas morning. i left my camera the night before at my Aunt's house and my little camera was out of battery and it just has become so difficult anyway to try to take pictures and manage chaos at the same time...so i let it go and enjoyed the moment and i am so glad that i did...but also a little sad i dont have the pictures now...i think we will be okay though...i think we can work through this.

i did manage to take some pictures of the Christmas jammies i made my boys. this was a total last minute decision in a rare burst of creative motivation...which doesn't come along too often...so i went with it.

i have had this Star Wars sheet i found thrifting for a while now...a couple of years at least. i have been total hoarder-crazy-lady about it because you NEVER find star wars sheets thrifting...i have been looking since high school....i was sorta way too into Star Wars then...but it pays off when you have three boys who love it too...at least bryson does...bodie still has yet to discover how awesome it is...but i have confidence that he will come to love it also...i will play jedi mind tricks on them...you will like this movie...you will wear these pajamas and think they are awesome...like that...

so anyway - i was looking at this sheet and just thinking that if i dont let it go, they will be all grown up and think Star Wars might not be as cool...so i thought if i cut it up right i would be able to squeeze out three pairs of pants.

i was happy that it all worked out...one of bobby's legs is upside down because i was running low on fabric...plus they were all made in one night so they are not of the finest quality made pants around. i used their existing pants as patterns to keep it simple and they do their job...boys are not so very hard since they lack curves, so they came together pretty easily. i made bodie's a bit long so that he could enjoy them a little longer. i wont say this will be a tradition, but it was fun to see them all matching...i dont ever do that to them...but its fun...its almost like - look! i have a set now! ha!

Recent Music Obsessions

i dont typically listen to music in the car...i should say when i am in the car alone...i prefer talk radio and have since high school...but i was recently turned on to this video and had to share - it has helped spark some interesting conversations...hoping you enjoy it too!




then that video sparked a girl crush on Kimbra...had to share this video too and i dare you not to fall in love with her a little bit :)